by Sheri Stritof (adapted)
Negativity can come in the form of cynicism, criticism, whining, attacking, pessimism, discontent, perfectionism, and hyperintensity. All of these behaviors can push people away, including your partner.
“Research indicates you can get mad as hell or avoid conflict altogether. But the positivity must outweigh the negativity by five to one.”
Source: John Gottman, Nan Silver. “What Makes Marriage Work?” PsychologyToday.com.
Ask Yourself These Questions
If you answer yes to most of these questions, your negative personality could be having a harmful impact on your relationship.
Change Your Pattern of Negativity
If you are chronically negative, you can change your pattern of negative thinking. But you have to want to make this change. Here are some things you can do to be more positive:
Help Your Negative Partner
If you are in relationship with a negative personality, you are not responsible for making him/her feel better. However, here are some things you can do to help your partner be more positive: