Six times. Six times! That is how many times my husband and I … no, not that. That’s how many times we hit the snooze button today before we got out of bed. It was nice and warm under the covers with only cold and deadlines to meet after we gave in and got up. Nothing fun awaited, that’s for sure. But wait. What is really fun about staying in bed? It’s pleasant and warm, but nothing gets done, and you end up bored out of sheer avoidance of life. I call that “snooze-button syndrome.”
Marriage is kind of like that. If you have a conflict that arises, it is very tempting to ignore it and go about your business. Hitting the snooze button with a mantra of, “We’ll discuss it when…” doesn’t just delay conflict, it puts your entire marriage on hold! During my bridal shower, guests wrote cards with “words of wisdom” on them. The overwhelming sentiment other than “Have fun with each other,” was “Never go to bed angry.” My soon-to-be husband and I took that to heart and agreed to apply that principle to our marriage from day one.
Do we fight? Oh yes, friend, we’ve had some very heated conflicts. Occasionally, we haven’t been able to solve our problems before bed, but we agreed to revisit the issue the next day, followed by a reassurance that we loved each other (even if we didn’t like each other at the time). Prolonging conflict is a product of fear, just like hitting that snooze button in the morning. We are afraid of discomfort. Now, my mantra is: “Stop dreaming. Start doing.” This means accepting the fear and approaching the situation despite it. To avoid hitting your marital snooze button, I have three starter tips for you: