Why Are Boundaries Important?


Why Are Boundaries Important?

by Dr. Jackie Black
Part 3 in a 4-part series on boundaries in relationships


If your life is filled with discord and you don’t feel that others respect you, it’s time to set your boundaries.

You experience your reality in four ways:

Body – what you look like;
Thinking – how you give meaning to incoming data;
Feelings – your emotional responses and reactions; and
Behavior – what you do or don’t do/say or don’t say.

Intact boundaries give measured protection to your body, thinking, feelings and behaviors as you evaluate and assess the words and actions of other people in your life.

You filter your experiences through your cognitive mind and your feelings. Through the use of your boundaries, you determine which words and actions you will accept and which you will block when they are unacceptable.

You set boundaries to protect your body, thinking, feelings and behavior.

This week, give some thought to how well you set and maintain your own boundaries and honor the boundaries of other people in your life.

  • What are your boundaries?
  • Where do you draw the line?
  • How do you react when someone sets a boundary and asks you to honor it?

If you are having trouble answering these questions, here’s a hint: Think of instances in the past few weeks or months when you felt intense emotion in response to something someone did or said to you.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!