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What is True Intimacy?


by Greg and Priscilla Hunt
Faculty Members, Online Relationship Academy


It’s never too early – or late – to celebrate Valentine’s Day! Here’s an idea – celebrate Valentine’s Day every day. We’re not just talking about the stars-in-your-eyes romance that the media promotes. That’s important in even the longest of marriages, but there’s more. The ultimate romance is the romance that leads to true intimacy – knowing and being known at the core of who we are. All of us were created with a longing for this.

To make this Valentine’s Day the best ever, try this: determine to do whatever it takes to improve your relationship with your partner. Research shows that if couples will channel their energy and creativity towards strengthening their relationship, our families will be healthier, our children will be happier, and we as individuals will increase our emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well-being.


  • Adopt a pro-active, growth-focused attitude about your relationship.
  • Spend more time together as a couple.
  • Schedule regular date nights and getaways with your partner. Write it on the calendar and protect it!
  • Set aside time each day to talk together about the important things of your day and your life. Go deeper than “small talk” and “shop talk”.
  • Work on your problems and conflicts – don’t let them go unresolved or sweep them under the rug.
  • Get help if you need it. Seek out a counselor, therapist or minister.
  • Attend a relationship class, join a couple growth group or read a book together about relationships.

Yes, relationships take work – but it’s work that pays off! This can be the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever experienced!

Talk About It

With your partner, take turns sharing your answers to these questions. Together, create an action plan with realistic goals for the next 3-6 months.

1.What am I personally willing to do (what specific actions)

2.Where might we find time to have daily sharing time (10-15 minutes)

3.When might we schedule a date night or getaway (write it on the calendar)

4.Are there any unresolved conflicts we need to talk about (choosing a time in advance to talk about it can help set the stage for a calm, non-emotional conversation)


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