Dr. Corey Allan
Sex is an important aspect of most every marriage. Your sexuality plays a major role in life. It influences how you dress, act, and interact with others around you. It’s everywhere.
Stand in line at your local grocery store and see if you can avoid seeing the word sex on a magazine cover. You’ll likely see it several times.
Talking about sex however, is possibly one of the more difficult conversations in life. Did you realize that for many people, it’s easier to talk about sex with friends than it is with your sexual partner? Why is that?
It’s tied to the anxiety these intimate subjects and acts create.
Do you remember how nervous you were during your first sexual encounter? Filled with uncertainty, the exploration of the unknown, being vulnerable with someone else, sharing new parts of yourself with another person.
After a while, the nervousness subsides, confidence increases, but routine takes over. If you’re honest, you probably have a set amount of sex routines. It’s always Sunday afternoon, must be in the dark, they do me then I do them.
I’m sure there are times when the routine is altered and the playbook is thrown out the window, but it’s likely that the new plays designed will simply replace some of the older ones.
There is nothing wrong with playbook sex, especially when both of you enjoy it. But what happens when one of you wants to alter the plays a bit?
It’s usually hard to bring up intimate subjects with those you care about. There’s a lot of risk involved with these conversations. Just because the topic is intimate and the person is someone you love, don’t back down from bringing up the things that are important to you.
When it comes to talking with your spouse about sex, here’s a few things to keep in mind.
As the conversation proceeds, you should also examine and discuss these sexual styles (everyone has these styles or moods at some point):
We are designed as sexual beings, but don’t forget that one of the most sexual parts of our design – is our mind.