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How Your Phone is Leeching Off Your Relationship


Sherry Kimball


Summary: Over-reliance on your smartphone may be detrimental to the health of your relationship. If you want to have a happy, healthy relationship, you should always put your spouse and friends above your smartphone. The more space you put between yourself and your phone, the closer your connection may get.

A personal observation of how couples interact at a restaurant led to a shocking revelation. Almost every couple became deeply engrossed in their individual phone. The conversation is sparse, other than the sporadic ‘huh’ and ‘aha,’ or when one partner wanted to show the other person something on their smartphone.

It’s a strange phenomenon. For some people, their smartphone seems to be more important than the other person in their lives, and they will do anything for it – even lose sight of what’s important in their relationship! Being able to communicate via a smartphone is one of the gifts of long-distance relationships, but not necessarily for up-close-and-personal relationships

Recent research was conducted to look into how smartphones affect relationships with loved ones: Those who prioritize cell phones over partners had lower levels of emotional bonding. It showed why overusing these devices while with your significant other should be limited when together.

When you’re overly attached to your phone, it’s clear that something is wrong. The very habit of constantly checking for messages, news updates, and social posts will always be there if you have your mobile device on you at all times. This ruins any chance of connecting emotionally with others, even if it is a platonic relationship.

Here’s how your smartphone could be the cause of your toxic relationship. Once you can recognize the signs, you can stop the habit and reconnect with your loved ones.

How Your Smartphone is Ruining Your Relationship


Have you ever been with someone who’s so wrapped up in their phone that you become little more than an interruption?

Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence as mobile phone and Internet use increases. This situation makes for an awkward conversation with someone who wants some attention but doesn’t get any because we’re too busy playing games or scrolling through social media feeds. This trend is known as “phubbing.”

What is Phubbing?

The term is coined by Oxford Dictionary and refers to someone who gives more attention, time, and energy to their smartphone instead of their partner (phone snubbing). Phubbing is one sign of our growing dependency on smartphones and the Internet.

If our spouse prioritizes their phone above you, it implies that we aren’t significant enough for our loved ones to pay attention to us. We feel unappreciated and ignored.

Impact of Phubbing on Your Relationship

A new study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture looked at how smartphone use and reliance impact college-aged adults’ relationships. Young couples were questioned about their own cell phones and the smartphones of people in their lives, such as spouses or significant others (e.g., family and friends).

According to the findings, those who reported greater levels on each indicator had more unfavorable outcomes. There is less happiness in one’s love connections when utilizing an electronic gadget such as a phone.

We all want to be acknowledged, cared for, loved, and understood as people. And couples who feel this way have more happy and long-lasting relationships than couples who do not.

Responding to a phone, email, or text during romantic times, shared meals, or even ordinary discussions sends a clear message that one partner is less deserving of the other’s attention. And this may create significant stress on the relationship.

The psychological dependency on these gadgets and one’s desire to be continuously connected with their smartphone may impact relationships even more than their actual use.

How To Turn it Around

A bit of relationship advice to avoid phubbing:

  • Put your phone away
  • When you’re around other people, turn off all notifications.
  • Create rules and boundaries to govern phone use.
  • Block any websites and programs that are obnoxious.

Breaking long-standing smartphone habits isn’t simple. You may find it tough to break your habits of using your phone while among friends and family. However, the effort involved is well worth it.

Don’t allow your phone to get in the way of showing affection to your loved ones. Do everything it takes to avoid phubbing those you care about.

Take Away

If you’re always looking through your smartphone instead of interacting face-to-face, there won’t be a connection between you and your partner. Luckily, there is a solution. Both partners can commit to relating temporarily without their phones. If successful, they can try to replace this habit using other forms of media such as books.


Author’s Bio

Sherry Kimball likes to write articles with advice which helps couples to improve their relationships. Sherry enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of relationships, weddings, and dating.  She is passionate about yoga in her free time.




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