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Beyond “Happily Ever After”

by David Steele, Founder of Relationship Coaching Institute

“What you can conceive you can achieve.”

— Napoleon Hill

As couples we want to live “happily ever after” and achieve our dreams. This is cool, but there are big limits to dreaming-

You might have a desire (“love”) but not a clear idea or dream or vision for what it looks like, so you’re stuck with “what is”

You might have a clear dream, but don’t believe it’s possible or realistic, so you’re stuck with what you’ll allow yourself to have

Your dream is limited to what you can conceive or envision, so you’re stuck with a narrow range of possibilities

However, a good Relationship Coach will help their client dream big and reach deep down to uncover and envision dreams they didn’t know they had. So there’s a “next level” to this dream stuff. This is what we’re doing with Radical Marriage – exploring what’s possible in relationships and providing strategies to go far beyond what would be most people’s dream relationship, because we can’t envision something we haven’t seen or experienced before.

This is new territory in the field of relationships, and since each relationship is unique, each couple’s “radical relationship” would be unique to them and they would be the pioneer of their relationship and discover uncharted territory together. We can provide them with the support, skills, strategies, and a roadmap, but the journey is theirs to take.

Isn’t that exciting?

So here are some key ideas:

Your “dream” is what you can currently conceive, but you can go far beyond that

To do so you must be aware that “you don’t know what you don’t know,” be open to possibilities, and be willing to continually progress forward into new territory with your partner

This is not for everyone and requires a good, strong partnership with willingness to embrace the journey, the learning, the adventure, and to be a pioneer (instead of seeking comfort, tradition, and familiarity)

The dream beyond “happily ever after” only seems to further reveal itself as you progress forward. Each step forward allows you to see more of the possibilities and the horizon. So there is really no such thing as “achieving” a dream because when you get to where you’re striving, you see more, can do more, want more, and continue striving.

This requires a leap of faith and willingness to embrace and enter the unknown. There’s a great Indiana Jones scene here that illustrates this- Only after Indy made that first, frightening step into the abyss did he discover the path across. Embracing your fears and not letting them hold you back is a big theme here as well.

“To Infinity and beyond!”

— Buzz Lightyear


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