Couple Talking

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6 Tips for Having a Productive Couple Conversation

  1. Agree on a time and place for your conversation. Choose a time when you are not in a hurry and won’t be interrupted. Choose a place where you can have some privacy.
  2. Eliminate distractions. Turn off the television, set aside your smart phone, etc.
  3. Make eye contact. Connect physically by turning toward each other, holding hands, etc. Slow your breathing. Relax your facial muscles. Be present.
  4. Take turns sharing with each other the awareness you developed from completing the lesson’s worksheet. Allow your partner to speak for themselves before sharing your own perceptions of what you think might be going on for them.
  5. After each of you has shared your awareness, discuss any new insights you’ve discovered during your conversation.
  6. Choose any actions you will take based on your conversation.

Your job as speaker:

  • Speak for yourself, sharing your own point of view
  • Include your feelings and wants as well as your thoughts
  • Be brief and to the point

Your job as listener:

  • Give your undivided attention
  • Listen without judgment or interruption
  • Express appreciation for your partner’s willingness to share

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Five Communication Tips for Couples

Tip 1: Know That It’s Not About You!* If your partner is experiencing an issue, it’s their issue, they own it. It’s