by Joanna Shakti
The things most couples think will keep them together are the very things that sabotage relationships. Too often, in your attempts to be a good partner, you’re actually the opposite.
What you think is love is not love, it’s attachment, it’s expectation, and even demand.
The strongest marriages form when two sovereign self-connected beings come together – wholly as themselves – and that allows them to unite in a way that lasts. That expands. That deepens.
But you were never taught how to love you and love them. Yet, this is the secret.
Instead you settle.
Relating starts the minute you first read the profile, the moment you catch a glimpse of them across the room…
The success of relationship depends wholly on how YOU are showing up and how YOU are relating to the other person, and yourself.
It’s unfortunate, It’s not until most have struggled or even failed… over and over again, that they get up the courage to look for the common denominator. Themselves.
The 3 Biggest Reasons Relationships Fail…
1. You neutralize the chemistry
Masculine attracts feminine. Feminine attracts masculine. Gender and orientation don’t matter. The connective spark of attraction ignites – and sustains itself – happens in the presence of opposites. As relationships evolved from role-based, Beaver Cleaver relationships into relationships of equality we neutralized the spark. Equal does not mean same. Different and opposite is where juicy connections happen.
2. Your self-abandonment creates resentment
Putting your partner first ends relationships. You might think that compromise and putting them first means you love them. But the problem is, you can’t love them more than you love you. Abandoning your needs, wants, and desires in favor of theirs guarantees that over time you will resent your partner. Resentment kills love.
3. You resist conflict (This impacts your sex life)
Most couples think that disagreements and conflicts mean there is a problem in the relationship. Quite the opposite is true. Avoiding conflict, keeping the peace, is one of the most dangerous things that can happen in relationship. And, it’s a sure fire way to extinguish your sex life. Every time you don’t speak up, every time you stuff it, every time you don’t ask for what you want, you create distance. Distance isn’t union. Distance too often leads to divorce.