The concept of a “good” sex life is completely subjective. Sexual satisfaction looks different for every couple, so there isn’t one right answer—it’s important to discover what you personally need to be sexually fulfilled.
However, researchers have identified some common patterns between couples who self-report great sex lives. That research shows that people who reportedly had a great sex life did things that were really different from the people who had an awful sex life,” says Psychologist John Gottman. “And none of those things involve what you do in the bedroom.”